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As I write about online dating I realise I need to include the mobile phone in this web of confusion in the dating world.

In the good old days when off the shoulder tops; pink leg warmers and double belts where in fashion; my then boyfriend and I would leave school together and immediately return home to phone each other and say absolutely nothing to each other, except possibly, discuss the weather or say a hundred times or more:

“You put the phone down.”

He would respond, “I love you”

“No, I love you!”

He would respond, “No, you put the phone down first!”

And hours would be wasted a way with this kind of silly conversation and we were both happy to do it!

Now with mobile phones, these silly conversations have turned into text messages, which could cover a range of topic from arranging holidays together to sex texting etc. and it should be fun and it seems to be the normal way in which we as humans communicate in society today.

However, I would argue that this texting has caused more arguments and probably destroyed more relationships than it has helped. Naturally, I have no evidence for this but it is how I found out my ex-husband was having an affair and it is how I tend to land up in arguments with potential partners.

This communication challenge is doubled when there are cultural and possibly language barriers.

Language on mobile phones can be read in so many different ways, for example, if one does not put a smiley face at the end of a comment it can be totally misconstrued and cause offence, further to this if you write too much on a text (as I have a tendency to do) it can be read as over enthusiastic and rather scary to a potential partner and it is rarely read as someone who is just happy and having fun or the worst error (another case in point for me) is being overly mushy and sentimental with a potential partner, and then when you are trying to express a different point of view or hoping to show an alternative perspective, you land up creating an almighty argument over texts with angry words written and a text fight or argument starts, which could have a potentially damaging effect.

And lets not forget the DRUNKEN texts declaring YOUR LOVE to said potential partner when out with the girls.

And that is just talking about the language, so what happens when the one potential partner does not respond to a witty comment or (in my case) a witty text essay?

The irrational brain kicks in and panic sets in, and one questions- Did I say something wrong? Have I offended them? I better ask and apologise just in case, I wonder what did I do? And the poor potential partner is bombarded with a load of texts that probably put the fear of the Gods in them and the silence goes from being ‘nothing’ to  SOMETHING in a matter of hours and days!

The phone is a CURSE!

I know there are counter-arguments to this, and I should probably learn to exercise text control but my profession is all about writing so that is a challenge!

There is one thing for sure, if there was no ability to text a person, I would probably be happy to receive a telephone call – at least once a day! 😉 , and certainly experience less paranoia when it comes to someone you really like!

I am searching for the funny side and it is hard to find, as very simply without a mobile phone, I would be a perfectly sane woman- well almost sane! 😉

I have just found this related article:


It seems I am not alone! 😉