, , , , , , ,

Various internet dating sites have different ways in which the photo is used and released but ultimately, it is the photo that determines whether you get a message or not.

So all of us single, open-relationship and polyamourous people use this picture as a way of enticing the other to read our profile. The picture has become crucially important and we are in a way using this picture to ‘Brand’ ourselves and ‘sell’ ourselves; we have become a product.

So why then do some people think that it is acceptable to post photos that show:

  • Them sexual dressed i.e clad with very little on or often in men’s cases just a towel covering their crotch area
  • Just their six-pack and crotch (no head shot)
  • Pictures with women/men surrounding them
  • and seductive naked poses with animals being bitten (actually I did contact this one, maybe because the photo was so surprising that I had to question him!)

and most concerning

  • pictures with their children

I know the internet culture has shifted and changed all conventions and in reality, we have no rules, for example, there are no rules in terms of how and what one writes about when writing a blog. But I am beginning to wonder whether we actually need standards in terms of internet dating?

As I scroll through photos and read profiles of men, I have a habit of not contacting people who post pictures with their children, not because I am not interested in meeting someone with a child, that does not matter, but because I do feel the child/ren should be protected. If someone wants to present themselves with their child/ren because that is important to them, I would recommend that perhaps they blank out their child’s face. It does not make a man more appealing when posing with their children. Surely, they can just write in their profile that their children are very important to them and they love them dearly. It does provide smacks of ‘I am trying too hard’, from a women’s perspective. I know if I were to provide a profile picture with my children, I would probably scare the man off; (my two are stunningly gorgeous- by the way!) But it does give the idea that I am seeking someone who will take care of me and my children.

The six pack and crotch or any close to naked photos (my favourite photo in this category is the ‘man walking out of the sea like James Bond’,) provides the idea that they are sex ‘gods’ and are looking for a good time; often if you communicate with one of these people and you provide them with an email address is etc. they may send you a picture of their penis and I can only assume breasts if it is a woman.

I don’t really understand why one would post a picture of themselves with another woman, is this kind of man trying to say they are ‘quite a good catch’ or ‘they don’t need to make the effort’?

And since we have become products that we are metaphorically, ‘trying before buying’, one needs to pay attention to the profile picture. The picture needs to be honest and yet appealing to the target audience. It needs to entice a person to send you an email and therefore, I would highly recommend the classic head and shoulders shot where one is smiling, although I know that in the internet dating world, this honest photo will not lure the target audience into a response.

The profile picture has created the illusion that we can find perfection and so we continue to develop into a global culture that is becoming superficial.